okay everyone, i’m bi.
yes, bisexual. if you find this surprising, then you’ve never asked me to my face if i’m gay straight or bi.
stop it with the stupid facebook messages asking me, i changed my info so you can get your annoying questions answered. spare me the long conversations with you trying to be painfully subtle about it
okay so i had to put the cookies on the ground….
they have a bag of trash outside their door and i put the cookies on the ground…near the trash…
fuck it, the deed is done and i officially don’t care anymore. they can come upstairs for some non-contaminated cookies.
okay last revision.
Dear D1__,
We would like to apologize for our guest’s evacuation of the contents of her stomach onto your table and patio. We are really sorry and take responsibility for her daft behavior and poor judgment as well as our inability to keep our guest under control. Please accept these chocolate chip cookies as a means to make amends for this debacle. It will NOT happen again. We are truly sorry for this incident and hope that all is well.
Sincerely,
D302
Erik & Jonathon
Perfection. How can you still hate us after this flawless letter and edible reparation?
so i just revised the apology letter a bit.
Dear D1__,
We would like to apologize for one of our guest’s evacuation of the contents of her stomach all over your table and patio. We are sorry and take responsibility for her her daft behavior and poor judgement and, above all, for our inability to maintain order within our apartment. Please accept these cookies as a means to make amends for this debacle. It will not happen again. We are truly sorry for this incident and hope that all is well.
Sincerely,
D302
Erik & Jonathon
So I wrote up an apology letter for that bitch who threw up on the first floor neighbor’s shit.
Dear [neighbor’s apartment number here…idk what it is],
We would like to apologize for one of our guest’s evacuating the contents of her stomach all over your table and patio. We are sorry and take responsibility for her her daft behavior and poor judgement and, above all, for our inability to maintain order within our apartment. Please accept these cookies as a means to make amends for this debacle. It will not happen again. Again, we are truly sorry for this incident and hope that everything turns out for the better.
Sincerely,
D302
Erik & Jonathon
the neighbors next door just asked me if we had a digital camera they could borrow.
fuck no i ain’t letting you guys borrow shit until you give back all the coronas and bud lights and lime slices you consumed during your uninvited presence at our apartment warming
